Shakespeare, in one of his famous plays, “The Midsummer Night’s Dream”, mentioned something particularly wise when it comes to love relationships:
“The course of true love never did run smooth.” There is a total of 7 billion people in this world, giving us roughly 3.5bil men and 3.5bil women– and you actually discover that you are (still) not able to find yourself a boyfriend/girlfriend or simple terms, a partner. In reality, the voluminous figure of world population cannot be blamed when you can’t seem to find your Mr/Ms. Right. You need make the first move in seeking for one.
The key ingredient to finding yourself a partner is: meet new people. Love and affection does not just descend into your hands solely thanks to Cupid shooting an arrow at two people. It requires solid interaction. You may wonder how you are to meet new people given your current social circuit—one that is bordered, narrow and limited. The solution is simple: Expand your people horizon!
1. Be Social.
“Back to the days before Facebook”
Top tip: Get yourself off the phone! You can sometimes be really talkative online, yet for most people, it only happens right there in front of your tiny glass screens. What we mean by “be social” is to begin real life in-person interactions. Most of us who are in college can have big classes, where everybody will cram into a lecture hall to attend lectures. Given the sheer number of people in lectures, it isn’t as easy to make friends as it was back in high school where everyone knew each other in class. Given the circumstances, what you need to do is to reach out to these people. Try not to sit at your usual spot, roam around, meet new people and just strike a friendly “we’re in the same lecture” conversation with them! All you need is the first move, as some may want to make new friends but are deep down shy in approaching fellow classmates. So someone needs to step up in order to make the situation succeed, and let that be you!
2. Join Extracurricular Clubs.
“One things you’ll find for sure is an additional skill on the side”
Remember how you knew people from other classes through cadet forces and interest clubs back in high school? Understandable that back in school, you had to join a club regardless. But think of it here and now, you join a club willingly, amidst others who share the same interest. What’s more, you get access to more choices of clubs in college – like pet-lovers club, performing arts, music, volunteering and the list goes on. Here I recommend the Model United Nations(MUN) Club – especially for those who are too intimidated to join debate clubs. The MUN has a similar approach of debating, but the whole idea of it revolves around diplomacy as it is a simulation of the United Nation conferences. Therefore, there will not be a point where you will be embarrassed by your opponent as every participant strives to seek for a compromise, win-win situation. Not only that, in MUN conferences there is a component of “socials” whereby all the participants of the conference get to come together for dinner, sing and dance and do whatever to have fun for the night. Through such events, it is impossible you could not expand ties with new faces!
3. Be Active in Sports.
“If attending activities won’t find you someone, being fit will”
Get up and start moving your body! Pick up an interest in a sport – it can be anything from “ball games” like football or basketball, yoga, boxing, gym and aerobics, to classy ballet or ballroom dances. This stone kills two birds, not only does it sculpt a healthy body for you but also gives you that golden opportunity in knowing more people. Here again, you subscribe to the same common interest with the people around you and this is a major factor when getting new friends and building a relationship. Ballroom dance would be the best sport if you are seeking for a partner, as in class you will be paired up, and this is where you can start cultivating a relatively personal relationship as opposed to playing team sports. The goal of learning something inevitably elevates the relationship between two people, especially in this case where you’re both paired up. As said above, common interest is the key to the lock. If you already have a favourite sport, go ahead and start challenging yourself by participating in sports competitions to make new friends! There are no barriers, remember this.
4. Go on Interactive Online Forums.
“There’s simply no limit to technology”
By “online forums”, we don’t mean dating apps. Dating apps can be very dangerous, as most people go online not to look for a real soul mate, but rather, a sexual relationship. Some of us are shy and introverted. To be honest, there’s really nothing wrong with that if it doesn’t lead you to depression or anxiety issues. With this said, one can try going online to meet new friends if it’s more suited to you. By adhering to this fundamental principle of “common interest”, you should register yourself to specific interest-discussion forums. Hobby, sports, interest…you name it, go for it. Go to a forum where it’s related to something you have a passion in, start sharing your opinions on topics and express your views. There is an extremely high changes that there will be people who will resonate in the same wavelength as you. What do you think will come next? Common interest, interaction, then voila! A new bond and friendship is built! Ultimately, if it’s all well said and done, your common interest and passion could and would ultimately lead to a fruitful relationship. For example, say you’re a fan of Harry Potter. Simply google up “harry potter fanfiction forum”, there will be a long list to it and a gateway to finding someone.
5. Go On A Vacation.
“Let’s head to another pond to fish”
“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” -Paulo Coelho.
Pack your bags and go on a field trip alone. Go to some place where it’s new, it’s foreign and it’s exhilarating. If you are daring enough, be a hitchhiker. Going to a place where you are new to will unravel your pathway to knowing interesting people in the most unexpected of ways. Perhaps a blind crafter who can compose good music, or a restaurant cook whose interest is be a thinker/philosopher? You never know how, where and when you’ll click with someone and that’s the unexpected beautiful part of it. At the same time, being in a place where nobody knows you eliminates the need for socially right words. You will not be restricted with your choice of words because there is no one you need to please in these circumstances. Sometimes you find the need to say things to meet your colleagues’/friends’ expectations, but in this case it is unnecessary and you have all the creativity to express your views. This way, the people you meet on the road will not develop a stereotypical judgement on how you’re always holding back on your words. Who knows, you could even have the chance to establish a deep spiritual connection with the new friends you make.
6. Attend Social Events.
“Its like a huge speed dating event no one knows of but you”
Go to parties. Go to mall events. Attend non-profit activities…wherever that allows opportunity to meet people. It is not as easy to make new friends here as each of the other has their own agendas to meet, but there is always an exception given all the circumstances. The Great Gatsby has a quote that goes around like this: “I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.” Given this quote, it holds that going to big events will increase the chance of generating ties and connections. This is because the bigger the event, the harder the host could attend to all his/her guests, and hence, there is chance for guests who do not know one another to bond. From there you may be able to speak to someone who is a match made in heaven. We’re optimists, anything can happen!
All in all, the key point to knowing more people(that increases your probability of finding a suitable partner) is to make the first move. Be the person you want to find, and the same will come to you. These tips may not be useful for minimally confident and sociable people, as they should be able to meet some new friends eventually, regardless of where they do it. On the contrary, if you are shy or insecure, then none of the avenues for meeting people will seem to work for you. Hence, you must buckle yourself up, step out of the comfort zone, and prepare to embrace the various circumstances in meeting people. Making the first move is a must, but you should be prepared to tolerate rejection as the temperament of people is uncertain. Life is full of uncertainties – isn’t it? If you manage to do so, there is less likely an obstacle for you to search for the right one.
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